I AM GOD!
by Blackspeed-Mistress
Summary: Hercule TRYS to show you that HE IS GOD! Too crazy for your own good.


Author's Notes: This is my first, and probably last, dbz fanfic. In case you haven't noticed, this is a fic   
about Hercule and his attempts to show you he is god. Key word: ATTEMPTS.  
Blackspeed_Mistress  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
Disclaimer: No, I do not own Hercule, nor do I want to. (If I did, he would be more than dead…hehehe!!)  
  
I AM GOD!  
  
You find yourself strolling down one of the sidewalks of Hercule City. A person bumps into you and you   
look up to find a tall man, with tanned skin, an afro, with a dark shirt and pants. You apologize to him and   
try to walk away, but it seems he holds you back.  
  
"You do not walk away from GOD!" He roars. Everyone looks in your direction and starts crowding   
around. You ask him what he means.  
  
"Why, you do not know of Hercule, GOD of the city? I must show you then!" He says. You quickly   
discover that was a bad thing to say…  
  
He carries you to his limousine by your shirt and throws you in.  
  
"I CAN TELEPORT YOU ANYWHERE!" He declares, and tells the driver to go to his mansion.   
  
Screw bad idea. Make it horrible mistake. You seemingly get to his mansion in one piece. Hercule steps out   
and drags you to the front door.  
  
"Welcome, to the house of GOD!"   
  
He beckons you in. Knowing he'll drag you if you don't come, you enter semi-voluntarily. The room is   
dark, and you cannot see anything. You hear the crazy man yet again.  
  
"I CAN MAKE LIGHT!" He claps twice and the lights come on. You wince as the light fills your eyes.  
  
"I CAN MAKE NIGHT!" He claps yet again and the room falls dark. You pray that you get out of here   
alive. He "creates light" again and you enter the next room. It seems to be an entertainment center, with a   
big screen TV with a couch and an end table with a glass of water.  
  
"I HAVE SEEN THE AGES!" He inserts something in the VCR and a movie appears. In big bold letters,   
the words "The Ages" fill the screen. You roll your eyes.  
  
"I CAN SPEED UP TIME!" He pressed a button on his remote and the screen fast forwards.   
  
"I CAN SLOW TIME!" He pressed another button and the picture appeared slow motion. He turns it off,   
leading you to the next part of insanity. On his way, he picks up the glass of water while you follow him to   
the next door.   
  
The room you step into is a huge kitchen. He approaches the sink and you hear him say:  
  
"I CAN MAKE THE OCEANS ROAR!" He pours the glass of water down the sink and places the empty   
glass on the counter. He draws near one of the cooks and asks him to do something. The cook scurries   
away.  
  
"I CAN MAKE GROWN MEN CRY!" The cook comes back, and starts to chop onions. You see tears   
running down his face from the smell. He proceeds to the freezer, where he takes out a tray of ice cubes. He   
put it in a machine, where it became crushed to a frozen powder.  
  
"I CAN MAKE SNOW!" He throws up the powder, drenching you with the melting flakes. You frown,   
knowing that it wasn't going to be one of your best days. He took out more ice cubes.  
  
"I CAN MAKE HAIL!" You make a mad dash away from him as he throws the hard frozen projectiles in   
the air. One of them hits his head and shatters. You hope that a shred of sanity would worm into his thick   
skull.   
  
Unaware of his injured cranium, he takes you to yet another room. It has a fireplace with two chairs in front   
of it, as well as a fan on the window. A hamster is sleeping in his cage, with a tree standing beside the cage.   
He steps by the fireplace, and you wonder for you health.  
  
"I CAN CREATE THE INFERNO WITH A FLICK OF MY HAND!" He flips a switch, and cardboard   
flames pop up behind the logs. Trying to hold back the need to beat the hell out of the guy, you follow him   
again.  
  
"I CAN MAKE THE WINDS GROAN!" He said while turning on the fan. You groan yourself, wishing   
the craziness to end. He leads you to the hamster's cage. You instantly pity the poor creature, having to   
live here every day with this maniac.   
  
"I CAN MAKE THE ANIMALS FLEE!" He declared scaring the poor thing out of sleep. It runs to the   
tread wheel and starts jogging. Pitying him again, you turn to see what Hercule was up to this time.   
  
"I CAN SNAP GROWN TREES IN HALF!" He broke of a little twig and glamorously stood as though he   
had achieved something.   
  
You reach the middle of the room just when a maid passed by.  
  
"I CAN MAKE LIFE!" He roared again, winking at the maid. Your eyes widen as you interpret the sick   
joke. You notice the maid had a round tummy. Wide-eyed and disgusted, you follow the crazy man into the   
next room. It was a training room, with punching bags, exercise equipment, and various other things. He   
walks up to a straight stack of what it appeared to be bricks.  
  
"I AM THE WORLD'S STRONGEST FIGHTER!" He said. Concentrating, he made a humming noise   
that increased until he struck the blocks. He crashed through them and bellowed with laughter. You pick up   
one of them, and noticed upon closer inspection, it was really styrophone painted in a red color.  
  
He leads you outside, where your journey to hell ends.   
  
"Well, now you know who is GOD! Do you believe?" He asks you.   
  
Frightened to say "hell no, loser!" for your sanity, you simply nod. He lets you off, and you run off to the   
precious sidewalk, which you now hold so dear.   
  
But comfort doesn't last long, as you soon run into a black spiky haired man with an orange suit…  
  
THE END  
  
Author's Note: Done! How did ya like it? R&R! This is Blackspeed_Mistress signing out! 


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